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The Perfect Shower Beer Playlist
It’s a Wednesday night, you got a 31 on your midterm, and you just remembered that your landlord pays your water bill. Sounds like it’s time for a shower beer! If you haven’t been introduced to the...
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Fictional Characters I’d Like to F*CK
I’d let him call me Your Worshipfulness any day With all this talk of the end of the world, I’ve had plenty of time to think about all the men things I wish I could have done before we all face...
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Things I Wanted for Christmas but Didn’t Get
Do they even make Bacon Tequila? I only asked for a few things this Christmas, but unfortunately Santa decided to bring me socks and Chapstick instead. So, I’m reaching out to the loyal readers of the...
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The Hangover Cure That Never Fails
Pictured: You, tomorrow morning Up until I turned 21, I could drink myself into oblivion as often as I wanted and never once woke up to find my body telling me that I had too much fun the night before,...
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Man Arrested After Using Song Lyrics as Pick-Up Lines
Added Hill, “It seems to work for Chet Haze.” LOS ANGELES — David Hill was arrested last Saturday after attempting to use lyrics from former chart-topping hits to pick up women. Years of failed...
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A College Reward System to Get You Through Senior Year
I pooped in the big-kid toilet therefore I deserve some whisky. It’s senior year, and despite the fact that I have yet to figure out what the hell I’m going to do after they kick me out of this...
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A Guide to Starting a Relationship
First tip: DON’T MATCH. DON’T EVER FUCKING MATCH. IT’S AWFUL AND EVERYONE HATES IT. It finally happened. Somehow between going to classes, working, the pile of homework that never seems to get any...
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What They Didn’t Teach Me In College (But I Learned Anyway)
I still haven’t learned how to throw these properly. When I left for college four years ago, I (like most of you) imagined I would be immersed in an environment full of intellects on their journey to...
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Things I’ve Learned From Living Alone For A Week
It’s comforting knowing that this obnoxious girl has nobody to live with. I’ve been living alone for about five and a half days now. Technically I have a roommate, but he doesn’t start work until...
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21 Things I Would Do For $1
Let’s Scrooge McDuck this mofo As you may have ascertained from my previous posts about college, I recently graduated. It’s great and terrible at the same time. Honestly I’m a wreck. But that’s not...
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